Friday, August 12, 2011

tribute to ayah

yesterday, 11/08/2011 was my father's 56 birthday.

happy birthday ayah, i love you.

ayah seorang yg hardcore. he just replied 'TQ' whenever i said i love you.

dulu, when i was with someone, i always thought that ayah is such an old-orthodox thinking type of person. because his father was super sporting, unlike ayah, at all. ayah wont even let him come pick me up when i want to go back to uia.
'dah xde mak bapak ke nak hantar awak?'

during secondary school-time, he did not approve the idea of hanging out with my friends in the mall. he DETEST that. i have to study most of the time, stay home cleaning up, cooking, baking and do all the household chores just because i am his only daughter. 'perempuan kena duduk rumah, buat kerja2 rumah, mana ada pmpn merayap'

he can be very harsh sometimes, he do not have to care about how others might feel, and that is all because he is AYAH, the leader of the family.

but now, when i am all grown up, i always try to look at glass half full.

everything that he did, i think i am grateful to be his only daughter. i might not be the best, i know i am 25 now but i have nothing to offer to you. just so you know, i am trying to improvise, to make something good and useful out of this dull life of mine.

happy birthday ayah. i hope you have achieve things that you wished for in your life.

there's a saying, but i cant recall the source, more or less it sounds like this,

"seorang anak gadis itu yang akan menentukan di mana kedudukan ayahnya, di syurga ataupun neraka"

a very simple, yet very deep statement. that is why up til now, i don't really think about marriage and such because for me, i still have unfinished business with ayah. i still cannot assure his place in jannah.. forgive me for that. i will try ayah.. i will..

angah used to say something that really makes me think.
'he spend 25 years nurturing you, fed you, support you. if ever he said something that is hurtful, demand things that you think is wayyy to ridiculous, think again. what have you give him in 25 years of your life? he has the rights ON you you know?

imagining you leaving me alone in this cruel world is unbearable. yes we do disagree and quarrel alot, but that doesn't mean i love you less. you will always be my hero. :)

the last time i went home, i think ayah is finally letting me go..


  1. I am so tormented reading this until the end. U are sooooooo lucky to be having a responsible ayah to protect u.

    Let's see who cried the most when u get married :) It can be Ayah :)

  2. last ade gak entry baru..sayu plak hati rase..jaga ayah awak elok2..ibu jua=)

  3. sob.. sob.. sedihnya entry kamu.. tp bila teringat pasal harrier, terus tak jadi nangis.. haha.. u'r lucky enough to even have a father. look at me.. :(

    aku rasa if u get married, u'll be the one who will be crying your eyeballs out. especially time akad nikah tu. that moment all the responsibility akan ditransfer ke bahu suami pulak. and no longer your ayah. it's such a touching moment. :')

  4. thanks dearest anonymouses, i will be more thankful if i knew who you are. :)

    zaireen: oh mata berkaca just trying to picture that. zaireen, i can give u THOUSANDS of reason why u r luckier, tapi xle la kat post ni, ni kan tribute utk ayah bkn kutok ayah haha!

  5. alaaaa sedih la baca post ini :(


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